Due to the overwhelming success of Part 1 and Part 2 (we’re practically famous in your family now), we’re back by popular demand to save you from that all-too-familiar feeling when your in-laws knock on the door unannounced. The subtle groan of “Oh no, they’re here” can be heard from every corner of the house. But fret not! We come bearing gifts—not just any gifts, but premium, memorable wines that are sure to spark more conversation than the peeling paint in the kitchen or the awkward silence when the family dog eats the last of the “special” dessert.

Forget the unwanted surprises and the tension. With these wines in hand, you’ll navigate the family dynamics with finesse. Each bottle is handpicked to match each personality type around the table (trust us, we’ve done the work for you). No longer will you awkwardly stare at your phone, wondering how long it’ll take before you can sneak away to pretend you’re in an emergency. Let’s get started!

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Hidden Valley Brut

Nose: Ah, the sound of bubbles—a gentle pop that announces you’ve made an entrance. The Hidden Valley Brut is all about freshness. The nose greets you with crisp green apple, subtle lemon zest, and a touch of toasted brioche. It’s like someone opened the door to a sunny garden and let the sparkling joy in. You can practically hear the effervescence singing, “It’s going to be a good evening, my friend!”

Palate: The palate is fresh, zesty, and oh-so-crisp, with a vibrant acidity that balances the slightly creamy texture. It’s the kind of wine that makes you feel like you’re dancing at a wedding reception, even if you’re only standing in your kitchen. The finish is dry and satisfying, a little like that unexpected relief when your in-laws finally sit down after a long drive.

Ageing Potential: Drink it now. It’s ready to pop (pun intended) and doesn’t need to hang around. But if you must wait, it’ll still be sparkling for another 2-3 years.

Food Pairing: A perfect aperitif! Serve it with some canapés or light hors d’oeuvres—think smoked salmon, goat cheese, or mini quiches. If you’re really trying to impress, serve it alongside fried calamari or crispy spring rolls.

In-Law Pairing: Father-in-law who’s seen it all: The Hidden Valley Brut is perfect for him. It’s elegant but simple, fresh but not trying too hard. It’ll keep him nodding along while pretending to know everything about the champagne method.

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Cape Point Vineyards Isliedh Blend

Nose: You know that deep sigh of satisfaction when your favourite band plays your favorite song at a concert? That’s the feeling you get when you inhale the bouquet of this Cape Point Vineyards Isliedh Blend. Aromas of ripe stone fruit—think peaches, apricots—and a whisper of oak make this wine as comforting as that old armchair in the living room that’s seen better days. There’s also a little dash of citrus that keeps things fresh and exciting, like a good plot twist.

Palate: Smooth, with a lovely minerality, with a delicate touch of honey and spice. It’s a wine that feels like a warm hug—soft, well-structured, and layered with just enough acidity to keep it all together. The finish is satisfying, like that feeling of accomplishment after cooking a five-course meal for your in-laws.

Ageing Potential: Drink it now or hold onto it for 3-5 years. It’ll soften and develop even more complexity as time goes by.

Food Pairing: Perfect with roasted chicken, a creamy pasta, or grilled fish with a side of buttery vegetables. If you’re feeling extra, serve it alongside a crab and avocado salad.

In-Law Pairing: The Mother-in-law who brews less with white wine: She will sip this thoughtfully, nodding in approval at its layers and complexity. Just don’t rush her; she’ll enjoy the wine in her own time, slowly savoring each sip while making sure no one is in the kitchen.

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Saltare Old Vines Chenin

Nose: Here’s the thing about old vines—they’ve got stories to tell. The Saltare Old Vines Chenin Blanc opens with a beautiful bouquet of ripe honeydew melon, yellow apple, and a touch of floral perfume, like a well-worn garden that’s been tended to for years. There’s a hint of nuttiness and a slight earthiness that adds depth.

Palate: On the palate, this Chenin is rich and round, with soft fruitiness that dances lightly across your tastebuds. There’s a beautiful balance of acidity and texture, and just enough complexity to keep you intrigued without being overwhelming. It’s not a wine that demands attention—it just quietly, confidently does its thing.

Ageing Potential: Drink it now or hold it for another 5 years. With age, it’ll develop a lovely, more integrated richness that will make you want to sit back and sip slowly.

Food Pairing: Pair this beauty with a rich seafood curry, a creamy risotto, or a delicious cheese platter. It would also be a perfect match for a well-cooked roast chicken.

In-Law Pairing: The Sister-in-law who pretends to connect with you: This is the wine you’ll bond over. She’ll pretend she knows all about Chenin Blanc but really just likes that it’s “easy to drink.” You’ll smile knowingly, but deep down, you know this wine is incredible enough to impress without trying too hard.

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Cape of Good Hope Sneeuwkrans Pinot Noir

Nose: This Pinot Noir is a love letter to the senses. With aromas of red cherries, strawberries, and a little dash of earthiness, it’s as if the wine is saying, “Come on in, we’ve been waiting for you.” There’s a subtle hint of spice, maybe a little clove or cinnamon, that gives it a sophisticated edge.

Palate: The palate is light, bright, and full of red fruit. It’s a wine that glides effortlessly across your tongue with delicate tannins and a soft texture. There’s a beautiful freshness, like biting into a perfectly ripe strawberry, followed by a gentle earthy finish. It’s the kind of wine that makes you want to slow down and savor the moment.

Ageing Potential: Pinot Noir is a bit of a long-distance runner, and this one will evolve beautifully over the next 3-5 years. The flavours will deepen and become even more nuanced.

Food Pairing: Ideal for roasted duck, grilled salmon, or a mushroom risotto. Or just pair it with some good conversation and charcuterie. Trust us, it’s versatile.

In-Law Pairing: The Brother-in-law who gives a thumbs up to everything: This is the wine he’ll appreciate with his signature laid-back, “Muy bueno!” and an extra-long sip. It’s light enough for him to enjoy, but elegant enough that he can pretend he knows what he’s talking about.

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Stony Brook Vineyards The Max

Nose: Big, bold, and beautifully structured, Stony Brook Vineyards’ The Max opens with a nose full of dark berries—blackberries, black cherries—and a touch of spice. There’s also a subtle layer of oak, like the smell of freshly polished wood at an antique shop. It’s rich but not overpowering, making it the perfect wine for when you need something with a bit more weight to it.

Palate: On the palate, it’s full-bodied, with velvety tannins and ripe fruit flavors that mingle perfectly with the spice and oak. The wine is rich and luxurious, but the finish is smooth enough to keep you coming back for more. It’s the kind of wine that demands respect, but does so with a wink and a smile.

Ageing Potential: This wine is a keeper. It can easily age for 5-7 years, developing even more depth and complexity as time goes on.

Food Pairing: Pair this bold red with something hearty, like roasted lamb, steak, or a rich beef stew. It’s the kind of wine that deserves a meal to match its richness.

In-Law Pairing: The Uptight College Nephew: This wine will give him the chance to over-analyze and “impress” the family (mainly his Dad) with his new wine knowledge, which is really just a bunch of phrases he picked up from an Instagram influencer. But hey, at least he’s trying to be interesting. THEA

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Hidden Valley Hidden Gems

Nose: This Hidden Gems offering is like uncovering a secret treasure chest. The aromas hit you with layers of ripe stone fruit, pineapple, and a faint whiff of vanilla oak. It’s a treasure trove of complexity, yet still inviting and approachable. You’ll want to take a moment and just smell it—this wine means business.

Palate: Full-bodied and bold, with rich tropical fruit flavours and a smooth texture, it’s a wine that demands your attention. The perfect balance of fruit, oak, and acidity make it incredibly enjoyable, with a finish that lingers long after your sip.

Ageing Potential: A true gem, this wine will evolve over the next 5-7 years, growing even more complex as it develops.

Food Pairing: Perfect with grilled lobster, creamy seafood pasta, or a roasted pork belly.

In-Law Pairing: The Father-in-law who has “seen it all”: This is the wine that will make him raise an eyebrow, give a knowing nod, and declare, “Now that’s a wine worth sipping.” It’ll quietly impress him without trying to be flashy.

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Final Toast 🍷

With these wines, you’re now armed with everything you need to navigate the minefield that is the in-laws’ visit. From effervescent bubbles to elegant Pinot Noir, these bottles are not only sure to keep the conversation flowing but will also add a dash of charm to your evening. Whether you’re trying to impress or just survive, we’ve got you covered. Cheers to surviving another family gathering—with style!